Hi there folks. It's that time of year again, and I'm here to give you my pre-season pigskin picks. Remember: you read it here first.

Teams that don't have a chance include the Lions, the Bears, the Rams and all other 4-legged team names. I understand that these creatures are quite ferocious, but compared to other teams, they lack the necessary weapons.

Look for the Falcons, Eagles and Ravens to be among the league leaders in passing yards. Boy, can they fly.

Long shots: The Browns, the 49ers, and the Packers. These teams are impossible to predict, simply because I don't know what they are. A Brown? I have no idea what a Brown is!

Surprise of the Season: the Dolphins. This ain't Sea World, but Miami should make a big splash this year.

Playoff teams will include the Patriots, the Vikings, the Buccaneers, and the Raiders. These names - and teams- pack a mean punch, particularly on their home fields.

Supper Bowl Match-up: It's all New York this year. Jets vs. Giants.

Supper Bowl Champion: The Giants. Though the Jets are much, much quicker, the Giants, well, they're Giants! Who the heck can stop a Giant?

There you have it...my predictions. Enjoy the season, and please don't attempt to telephone me on Sunday afternoons.